YWCA

what we do

Kelly

I was referred to YWCA through a flexi-learning programme. School wasn’t working for me and their vocational courses suited me a lot better.

While I was studying I started a new relationship. The relationship seemed normal to begin with and we were happy.

However he didn’t have a job and was struggling to survive. I started to lend him money to help him out. Because he didn’t have a job he couldn’t me pay back.

He started to ask for more and more. When we went out I would have to pay for everything; he’d just say to his friends ‘No worries Kelly will lend me the money for the next round.’

I was only working part-time so couldn’t afford to pay for us both but it was difficult to say no. When I did he got aggressive and accused me of lying and checked my bank statements.

He would blame me for the fact that he couldn’t get a job. He said I was holding him back. He used to insult me, call me names and criticise my weight. When I gave him money he would just spend it on booze and fags.

My self-esteem hit rock bottom. It's hard to realise you’re in an abusive relationship when you’re stuck in it and can’t see out..

The last straw came when my boyfriend was given money to buy me a Christmas present. Instead he spent the money on going out drinking. I finally realised his behaviour was abusive and that he was using me.

The support workers and other girls at YWCA gave me the confidence to finally end the relationship. Staff encouraged me to attend their money management and self-esteem classes which really helped me. I am now stronger and more confident.

I wanted to use my experience to help others so asked the project workers to help me devise a programme to teach girls about body issues and bad relationships. They helped me and two other girls plan and deliver the programme called Me, myself and I.

I feel I’ve come such a long way since those few years ago. I’m able to manage my money better now and feel better about myself.