YWCA

what we do

Kim

I have ended my five year relationship with my boyfriend but I’m still paying the price today as I’m left with the £4,000 of debt we ran up together.

We moved in together when we both won places at the same university. At first we found living together exciting but soon started to struggle with the responsibilities of bills and shopping. It was a steep learning curve.

Money was tight for both of us but my boyfriend spent a lot of money on himself. He would buy gadgets for his computer, video games and spend money on going out. He ran out of money and started to borrow from me.

Because he was spending his own money on himself it was often up to me to pay the rent and buy food for both of us. To survive I took out a credit card. The card was for both of us but it was in my name.

Even though we were living on credit he would still ask for money and I couldn’t refuse. When someone comes to you saying, ‘I can’t afford to eat, I can’t afford to pay the rent’, you can’t just say, ‘Well you’ve got to starve. You’ve got to leave the flat.’

Looking back I can see he manipulated me but I didn’t feel it at the time. If I said no I felt like such a bad girlfriend.

This brought me down and made me feel like I had to lend him money to be a good person. My confidence was rock bottom. Even though he was financially dependent on me, I felt more dependent on him. I was too scared to leave him because I thought I wouldn’t be able to afford to live.

Eventually the relationship ended. He walked away free and I was left with £4000 of debt which I am still paying off today.

I went to YWCA as a volunteer because I wanted to help other young women who had been through difficult times. The support workers encouraged me to get involved in lots of campaigns and I even got the chance to speak at the Low Pay Commission and to make a film and website about the dangers of financial abuse.

Volunteering gave me the chance to learn new skills and to boost my own confidence. I feel so much more positive about myself. Making my website www.yourpursestrings.com about financial abuse helped me to learn more about managing my own finances as well as helping others.

I am now working for YWCA as a web co-ordinator, helping to create this website. It’s a fantastic job where I get to use my skills from my journalism degree, be creative and work for a good cause. It feels great being part of an organisation that really does have all young women’s interests at heart.